2 consecutive sad days..

I told koby about resigning yesterday. I took the whole day to find a good timing. ZX n Ju wasnt around. I had plenty of time and opportunity to be alone with him in the afternoon. I didnt know how to break the news.. time passed and it was near to 5pm. He happily told me that we had finally succeeded in cloning.. and that was the time we entered the dark room to view the gel, I told him. The happy atmosphere stopped suddenly. I could see that he was shocked, even in the dark room. He looked at me with 3 sec silence, then asked " are you serious?". I nodded. He replied with an "ok" and went out. I was supposed to continue with gel extraction. 5 mins later, he came to me and said he wanted to talk to me.

We were inside the room. Awkward silences, heart to heart talk, advices and understanding each other. We talked with heavy hearted. We laughed to disguise our true feelings. Somehow I knew how he felt.. and he understood where I was coming from. Like Ju describe, it felt like breaking up with your other half, having to let go. He told me I was the special one and he planned to train me to be a key person. I felt happy, and sad at the same time. I knew all along. We had the special supervisor-employee relationship. But I had made the decision. I had to go. Not even increment could make me stay. He understood the limitations of the current company. It was near 5.30pm that we ended the talk. I was nearly in tears when he said, "thank you for talking to me"

I returned home with an extreme weight on my heart. Afterall, Koby was the one, the motivation of joining the company after my first interview nearly 3 years back - I can imagine myself having a cool Jap supervisor. It was like "bingo" on first sight.. I knew I will join this company, which I did.

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Today, I waited for 5.30pm, waited for all staff to leave the company, before standing up, passing the letter to Dr M. We headed to the room to talk. The same position. He sighed. We started talking. Dear mentioned that I should be able to handle the situation, since I got the "emo" experience the day before and talking to Dr M wouldnt be that bad. But no. It was worse.

Dr M told me a lot of things. Plans for the current company. He even asked me to stay on, give him some time to let him get all those ppl who had left to be back. After the persuasion, he knew that I wanna give sales a try. He understood me. I want to try new job before I get old. We talked for about 45 mins. He gave in and said. "Ok, you go ahead and try. 3 months later I will contact you again to see how you are doing. If it's not ok, please come back. We can wait for you." I replied with a "Thank you" and tears welled up. I think he knew I was going to cry. We stood up and left the room. Upon carrying my bag and stepped out of the office, I cried. All the way back home. Even as I am typing this post.

I felt guilty. It felt like a betrayal that I left for someone else. Dr M is too nice and fatherly.

I'm sorry Dr M. I never had such a wonderful boss and supervisor. Thank you for everything.