New Year~!

Hi it's me again. :)

Sorry for the lack of updates as I recently downloaded the Dayre app where it is optimised for blogging on the phone.

Yesterday I blogged a wordy Dayre post and hence I thought about blogger once again... Here it goes:

Follow up with the post previously, I mentioned that something exciting was coming up. Most of my colleagues know about it already, of course, and my twitter friends. I'm expecting my #2 in late Jun, early July! Exciting isnt it? 1 year 1. LOL. One shot finish and close factory.

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It's the season of jolly~!!! Exciting things are happening. Stay tune~!

Being appreciative

Dear has been flying a lot recently. I am really appreciative of what my mother-in-law has been doing for my baby and for the house. She took care of the baby when im tired, feed the baby, washes his clothes and ironing our clothes. As baby has started crawling around or walking around in the walker, she helped us to wipe those surfaces that baby is able to reach. She also comes over to my room to bring baby out during the 2nd midnight feed (around 4-6am) and then sleeps with him in the living room mattress. Then she will ask me to rest as much as possible before the alarm rings for me to get to work.

I was so so resistant to her coming over to stay at my house initially, because of privacy issues, and we have different sets of thinking on how to take care of the baby. Although the way she take care of baby is still not fully agreeable to me in some ways, we have learn to give and take as I understand that it is not easy to look after a baby.

Thank you Mother-in-law.

Work

Work hasn't been that smooth. It's not that my supervisor has any issues with me, just that I'm quite disappointed with myself for the quality of work I'm producing recently. 

Not sure why my recent assays had very high standard deviations between duplicates. Once or twice, I'll blame it on the pipettes.. But a few more occasions made me conscious of my work quality. My hands trembled when using multi channel pipettes. Signs of old age? Lack of sleep? Caffeine addiction? Or simply pipette problems? 

Now I'm so aware of myself and so cautious when adding the samples and yet today, I faced another disappointment. I did all that I could to minimise errors. What's wrong with me? I used to be proud of myself with little margin of error. 

Maybe that's the "retribution" of being proud. I must improve!

Am I an unreasonably possessive mum?

Yes, back then I agreed to let my MIL bring my baby back to Penang when I saw how anxious she was when baby was rushed to A&E the other time when baby was sick. I know that she will definitely take care of my baby won't cause harm to him. I know that she loves baby as much as I love him...But but but.. as a mother... i don't really bear to leave my baby for such a long time even for a day.. let alone for a week. Being a mother herself, Why couldn't she simply understand?

 

Dear said that I should put myself in her shoes, that it's always their wish to bring baby back... But back in my head.. what for? Show off to relatives? I don't even bother when my relatives bring their babies for my mum to see... probably at that moment they will just comment how cute the baby is, who the baby looks like, praise and comment that how good she is taking care of the baby, how fortunate she is to have a grandson.... so those are all "feel good" factors for themselves and nothing much more. And what I fear most, teach and share those olden times how-to-take-care-of-babies techniques.

 

That is what I feared most. With not much education, old people do what they hear. They will feel that they are right.. coz they can simply say "so and so also like that mah" or "I also did that to my son last time mah" or "It's not like I'm trying to harm my grandson" etc etc. Indeed... I know you won't harm the baby.. just that olden days methods don't work on new generation anymore. With more facts and papers, there are a lot of "don'ts" marked for those traditional thinking. They are not as updated as us.. so they wouldnt know about all the "don'ts"...

 

There's so much fear and yet nothing can be done. Don't keep asking me to place myself in other shoes.. can you take some time off and ask the others to place themselves in my shoes? Or maybe stop placing each other in each others' shoes. All thinkings are individual and we can never truely understand each other... am I making sense?

 

I'm so distracted and not focused after I know that my MIL will be bringing my baby back.. I cant simply say no.. can I?

 

Sign off,

Overtly worried mummy

 

Hitting the big 3

The day of my birthday started well... received presents from my colleagues followed by lunch treat from team mates, then dinner with my hubby and rounded off with cake cutting with my little one. But the first day after my birthday didnt went well. I suffered from indigestion and food came up from throat and through my bottom as well. Yucks. I shan't go into the details, but I can say I suffered a terrible night.

A few days before my birthday, hubby and I went for a staycation at W hotel in Sentosa. A very nice and new hotel. I will definitely go there again my when I have the extra money. LOL.

 

Ok. Coming back to the point, hitting the big 3 makes me feel old... but yet, happy. I had came a long way to reach this stage of my life. Dating, getting married, couple time and now, family time. Though there were ups and downs, I'm truly happy and blessed to have my hubby with me, and our little one. My wishes from this year of my life onward, will always be 

• Baby staying happy and healthy always.
• Hubby and I staying blissful always.
• Our family members staying bonded, healthy and happy always.

I still have a lot of wishes... but those above are the main ones. Gone are those "materialistic" wishes, gone are those "ambitious career" wishes. 

Thank you my dear, I love you.

One week left

Dear went for biz trip the next day after we returned from Penang. I wanted to go to bro's house with baby but in the end I chose not to. I was lazy to pack again to stay at bro house right after a trip. Plus the haze situation, I don't want dad to sleep in the living room. Last but not least, I don't want to trouble my family. Heard that they are still recovering from flu. They need rest. My crying baby will only disturb them.

So I decided to stay at home. Thus I need to do everything myself for the next 7 days. I hope I can cope. I was better to handling baby compared to 2 months ago. The night is still young for today but so far so good. Just some minor things that I shall see how it goes. Dear and I agreed that once I feel that I can't cope anymore, I shall pack my bags, hop on to a cab n look for mum immediately.

Oh ya, I'm heading back to work after next week. Time flies.